it is amazing how u can have 2 different sets of feelings of love towards 2 different persons. that's how im feeling towards my hubby n my lil girlie.
ive been in love with my hubby for nearly 4 and a half years . and from the beginning ive gone thru a lot of things n ive felt a lot of feelings towards him. talking bout love, it's a wonderful feeling that couldnt be described. everytime love strucks by, i feel as if i miss him like crazy n i really mean CRAZY. i'll be calling him endlessly with nothing to say except i miss u n i love u. and when i couldnt control my feelings everytime i feel lonely without him, i know that is what i call LOVE between me n hubby. it's more than that actually but i wont dwell on that...
n now comes the 2nd love of my life.nia karlyssa. ive been dreaming of her ever since...forever! i mean i always have this wish to have a baby girl as my first child. and when i met my hubby,we both love imagining n 'creating' our imaginary children. one is shugagi (if he's a boy) and one is shugiga (if she's a girl). before we got married, everytime we were far away n the phone is the only mode of our communcation, we would act by asking each other "how's shugagi/shugiga?" "let me talk to her" "uwek uwek alamak shugagi/shugiga nangis rindu u la".that was before we got married. n it continues until we found out that i was preggie. my love towards my child grows the moment i knew she was inside me. i kept on imagining she was in the baby cot crying for our attention when i was 8 months preggie. i kept talking to her n telling her all my stories everyday when i was alone. i even recorded my voice 'talking to her' in the phone. everytime i saw her in the little scanning machine my heart jumps out of excitement coz that's the only way i could see her n know that she's doing alright :)
n from the moment she was born where i hold her in my arms,my first tear for her rolled out. i was so thankful to GOD's creation. we shared the same blood n food for 9 months n now that she's finally 'out' of my body i felt sad.because all this while i had her to myself.exclusive possession.but now i have to share her wif others:( huhu but that's the fact of life. and 2 months plus being wif her in real world, i started to understand n love the feeling of being a mother. when u have a child, she will be the most cutest adorable beautiful child in ur eyes. regardless of what other people think, ur child will be the number one. every single thing that she does amuse me like hell n i feel so proud at her the first time i saw her smile, the first time i saw her giggle, the first time she managed to lift her head up....i feel so proud that i can tell others about every single thing she did in a day including the time when she poo poo! n now i understand why my mum felt so proud of me even when i only managed to get number 3 back then in primary school:) the fact that as a mother who gave birth to our own child, we will be proud of our child n their achievement will be the best in our eyes. no need comparison wif other people's child. my nia will still be the cutest baby ever in the whole world thru the eyes of her mummy :)
and if u wanna know how exactly is the feeling of a heart melting out just like the chocolate melts under the sun? that's how i feel everytime i see her smiles:) i swear! (this feeling is totally differentwhen it comes to my hubby coz i tak melt sgt dgn dia:p)
and now nia karlyssa, mummy was driving to work this morning when i suddenly heard the lyrics of this song.it made me smile coz the lyrics convey my feelings towards u. so i dedicate this song for u but mummy promise that i will write a lyric just for you one day nanti kay? n mummy really pray that u will love mummy back as much as mummy loves you....
*Sempurna by Andra And The Backbone*
Kau begitu sempurna
Di mataku kau begitu indah
Kau membuat diriku akan selalu memujamu
Di setiap langkahku ku kan selalu memikirkan dirimu
Tak bisa ku bayangkan Hidupku tanpa cintamu
Janganlah kau tinggalkan diriku
tak kan mampu menghadapi semua
Hanya bersamamu ku akan bisa
Kau adalah darahku
Kau adalah jantungku
Kau adalah hidup ku lengkapi diriku oh sayang engkau begitu sempurna .. sempurna
Sayangku engkau begitu sempurna.. sempurna.. sempurna..